puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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