So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
