I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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