32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
