there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
