on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
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