OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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