Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
