how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
