You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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