We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
There are leaves in my underwear?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
