never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
