her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize