Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
