But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
