Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
