I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
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