It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
