I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
