In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
