I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
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