are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
