Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
