Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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