You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
