it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize