I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Enjoy the penises
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize