I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize