I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize