I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
what day is it and did you see me today?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
