So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
