ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
