you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
