nut hugger
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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