I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I love you. Go after that dick
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
