Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
