Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
