I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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