New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
