Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Green mimosas i think yes
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize