but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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