He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
