OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
