If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
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