It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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