he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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