Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
