So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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