I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
