I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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