all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Life is so much better after having sex.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
