Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
