Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I think I just shit out all my problems.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
