i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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