I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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