If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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