i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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