Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
