is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Lo siento on account of my penis...
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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