So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
