Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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