this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Randomize
