I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Two words: blizzard sex
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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