I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
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