i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
