Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Your penis caused this!
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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