I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
