question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
