It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize