The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
