I've blown a few things in my day
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
