One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
