My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
