It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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