butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
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