You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
