he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
