Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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