sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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