Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize