I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize