Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize