I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I wish I could punch you in the face.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Congratulations! We have a period
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
