What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
