I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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