Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Randomize
